Life lessons: The First of Many...It's the Little Things in Life

(Photo credit: Brit Brat)

"It's the little things in life..."

Life has a funny way of teaching you a lesson. 

Growing up my mother was fairly strict. Sleepovers were strictly something I saw on an episode of "Full House". Back then I gave my mom a tough time but today I understand her concerns. It is unsafe to send someone you love to a strangers home. It's easier to control the situation in your own home. Back then I didn't understand but today I can see her rationale. Unfortunately lessons like this are learned when it impacts you personally. 

Almost  20 years later and I get frustrated when my mother wants to know I've made it to the next destination safely. In my head it's a no brainer, I am okay but to my mother she is worried that something can happen, and she is correct about that. Something can happen and a month ago something did. In an instant my life changed and now I am struggling through this healing process and so is my mother. She just wants to see her baby girl be okay. Some days I remember  that but then there are days where I am learning how impatient I am. I just want to be well.  I would like to wake up knowing that I can go to work and continue the cycle of work but that wasn't the plan provided to me and in this there is a greater purpose. 

Luckily, I have a solid support system who continues to inspire me and support me day in and day out. Luckily I am blessed to open my heart to other blessings and re-evaluate my purpose and my role in the profession of occupational therapy. I did not choose this profession to pay bills. This profession chose me to support people who don't necessarily have a solid support system to have something to live for. Sometimes it's a good day when someone is able to wake up and sit up in bed to get dressed. I've been given the privilege to remind people about the little things. 

The little things in life give me hope. Giving a perfect stranger the support of a moment without judgment or even respecting someone regardless of shortcomings is the business I want to prosper in. I didn't choose OT to be rich or recognized; it chose me. OT chose me. OT chose me 6 years ago when I was a freshman in college and had no idea what it really was. Maybe this accident was always going to happen but I needed to be prepped for it. Maybe that can explain the purpose of my career. As a practicing therapist I have been given a new perspective on injury and the recovery process. 

To my detriment it takes me a long time to learn lessons. I need to live it sometimes to understand. Right now I am living it. The emotional rollercoaster I am living will make sense in the end. 

Some people gain experience on the job,I'm gaining experience by living and breathing my setback everyday. It isn't easy, but it's been said: "nothing in this world worth having is easy". I couldn't have said it any better my self. 

I'll leave you with this: Going through life and living life are not the same things. Sometimes we are just going through the motions just living day by day. Other times we live. When you give life to someone who feels hopeless...that in itself is a small token of living life with purpose. The best things in life are free. It costs nothing to be kind. The little things make life matter. On my good days I'm simply going through the motions on a bad day I'm reminded that my bad day is nothing compared to someone living with a spinal cord injury or muscular dystrophy. It is simply the little things that make my career amazing and it probably would have taken me years to learn that but I've learned that lesson now. It's the little things that...

1. Make me happy

2. Make life worth living

3. Motivate me to be a better person 

4. Make me a better therapist

5. Inspire me to want to change the world

Talk = Action....but What Happens When It Doesn't?

"You are what you do, not what you say you'll do." - C.G. Jung 

This week I had plans. My plan was to conquer the world. Okay maybe not the world but what I am trying to say is I had plans for this week. I was going to research some valuable information for people to know about Family Medical Leave of Abscence aka FMLA and short term disability. I am still in the midst of researching and actively going through the process right now. I will deliver that information here because it is IMPORTANT!  Ok back to business. 

How many times have you had a great idea  and after all was said and done nothing happened? I mean you talked about this idea with your friends, family, co-workers, maybe even told an idea to strangers, but when it came time to put it to work the end result was nothing; nothing more than a beautiful figment of everyone's imagination.

Welcome to the story of my current life. I used to be the talker AND the doer, but somewhere as the years have passed my actions are not always aligned with my words. 

Do you want to know why?

Even if you don't I am going to tell you. As I have gotten older fear has kicked in.  Responsibility has set in and my little friend named reality always seems to trump my ideas. But why?

My actions aren't equal to my words because I haven't been doing the research, the leg work before I start to speak these things with my peers. I haven't been serious. I've been telling my ideas for affirmation or a sense of direction from those I look up to so that I can make a calculated decision. I am learning that I'm trying to be too responsible instead of being young and vibrant. Living life and enjoying every moment and if I'm not enjoying life then I need to be making plans.  

You are in charge of you. 

Plain and simple.

How do you make your words = your actions?

1. Believe in yourself

2. Do your research 

3. Stand your ground/ Be courageous 

4. Don't forget your mission 

5. Never stop fighting for what is right 

No one has ever lived this life before you. People have lived longer than you and have had life experiences but they have not lived, died, and lived again. So be wise. Listen and learn from other peoples experiences and don't be defensive. People can enlighten you and expose you to a place closer to your dreams. So don't be like me. Turn your words into actions. Live on purpose. 

When Your Flaws Take Center Stage

"For beautiful eyes look for the good in others,for beautiful lips speak only words of kindness, and for poise walk with the knowledge that you are never alone. "

-Audrey Hepburn

In this day and age there are many people who are struggling with lack of self-esteem. People who are beautiful physically, mentally, or even internally. However there are also people with physical, mental, or internal disabilities that feel like the struggle is their own and no other person can understand the depth of their pain. 

Random topic...yes, but very necessary. 

My goal for this blog is to let anyone with a disability or not to feel like they are not alone. I want to inspire anyone who feels discouraged about their life circumstances to feel like they are not alone. As much as social media is an outlet for people to express themselves it comes at a price. It seems like the amount of 'physical' social arrangements are dwindling. I say this because while I sit at home, my social interactions are mostly through use of social media. Don't get me wrong, I do a few productive things throughout my day but then somehow I'm back on social media. 

Answer this question for me:

When out in a public location alone, do you have your eyes glued to your electronic device? (I.e. Cell phone, tablet, computer, etc.)

If you answered yes, then here me out. 

I had a friend ask me recently if I felt the positivity I share on my blog. My response was honest and I told her yes and no. The reason I responded yes was because I feel blessed that I didn't hurt my dominate hand and that I have amazing support to get me through this. I also feel like when I focus on the positive I am less sad. 

The reason I said no was because some days are frustrating. Some days I just want to go back to the normal me, or even be around people without being asked "what happened?" Sometimes I just want my hand to do what I ask of it. It's difficult going through this because it was so random. So unnecessary.  I can't wrap my brain around this one. I can't figure out the purpose in this and there lies the frustration. Anyway,to get back to my original point...

I believe in this life we are meant to be people,people. We are meant to love one another. We are meant to be nice and support each other. Uplift each other. Nobody is perfect. Despite our imperfections and flaws we need social interaction. Judgement free zones; because there are too many broken people (mentally and physically).

Being positive about life circumstances is great but it is also okay to be angry. It's important to be genuine and not allow an electronic device hide that. When I'm out socially (yesterday was my first night outing) I use my flaw to be funny. My flaw is so noticeable and people being people are curious. They don't know that I get asked the same question ad nauseam. 

When my hand  takes center stage I tell a story. Yesterday thanks to a friend I was an MMA fighter and the other guy didn't fend well. Did anyone believe me...probably not, but the moral of the story is that when my biggest flaw was brought to my attention I turned it into something postive. (I can't take the credit. My friends did) side note: I think that's why there are more people with disabilities who find a calling in comedy. 

There is so much that is happening in the world to be sad or angry about. Our flaws are what makes us unique. Our flaws make us extraordinary. I hope that anyone who feels sad can find joy in the fact  you are NOT alone and that you are imperfectly perfect.....and that is simply beautiful. 

Until next time! Any ideas share! Comments are appreciated! Thank you all for the continued support. 

5 Lessons Learned While Taking Time Away From Work: My internal Pep-talk

"Nothing will work unless you do."

-Maya Angelou 

5 Lessons Learned While Taking Time Away From Work: My Internal Pep-talk 

5. Try to live in the moment. 

In life there are no do overs. What I mean by this is, every day you are given 24 hours to live your life; you determine what you do in that time and you also determine your behavior during every minute of your day. Instead of stressing about tomorrow focus on your plan for today. Focus on your decisions for today. Living in the moment is taking everything in. It does not mean 'YOLO' and give excuses for poor behavior. It does mean to embrace every challenge of the day. Right now I am not at 100% and that is okay. It's important to live in this moment because when it is all over this will be a memory of how I fell down the stairs and have a huge battle wound to show for it. All the authentic feelings and emotions will be a thing of the past. Every moment is important and I should cherish that. 

4. You get what you give. 

There are constant references in the media or better yet the bible that state:

'You get out what you put out.'

'You reap what you sow.'

'You get what you give.'

All these statements are very true. When I was working I would whine and complain to my family and friends about my job. The one thing that would stress me out at work was 'productivity.' I was always so stressed that I couldn't focus and my patients weren't getting the best therapy I could give them because I bought into what I couldn't do. I later realized on the days where I was more productive, I was usually more organized and at peace and I was able to have great therapy visits with my patients and felt less stress. While having this time away from work, I still see the importance of productivity. Instead of wasting my days off work on social media, watching television, and movies; it is important to go back to the basics like; What are my goals  for my life? Where do I want to be in the next year? If I put in effort during this time to better myself as a young person then when all of this is over I will reap what I sow. On the other hand if I sulk and cry and stress when I come out of this I'll be left with nothing. The biggest thing  I can do is to prioritize my time. Make short term goals and most importantly pace myself. 

3. Anxiety will cloud your judgement.

Every now and then I find myself getting anxious. This happens because instead of living in the moment,I think about what is going to happen in the future. In my case, I've always been a planner so it's difficult to continue doing my everyday routines when the biggest routine I had has changed. I went from working a 40 hour week to going to therapy three times a week and having no other organized and structured task to do. However, because my brain is in perfect condition(at least in my mind it is...) it makes it difficult to remember that I am healing; this is a process that is going to take time, and in order for me to be a better therapist I need to allow for this time.  With that in mind, it is also very important for me to put the anxiety aside and really work toward figuring out what my role in this field is supposed to be. I went to school to become an occupational therapist, and that is just what I did; now I need to find out what kind of therapist I want to be.

Being anxious will just make that revelation hard to find, so instead of being anxious I am working on changing my focus on the things I can control. First I will start wit my attitude. 

2. Put your pride aside and accept assistance. 

If I have learned one thing so far it is that I will not give up on people in society. In this day and age not everyone you will encounter is out to steal your ideas or make you feel bad. Many people I have encountered want to help they just don't know how. Yes there will be moments where people stare at you like you're an alien but there will also be people who understand your shortcomings. For instance in my case currently I find it scary to drive. I have a car but the idea of driving one handed makes me nervous. Luckily, I have a support group that is always there to assist me so that I make it to my doctors appts, therapy visits, and any other little errand I need to run. I had to put my pride aside and accept the fact I cannot do this alone. People are understanding. I say this because people will help you when you put your pride aside and ask for assistance. People will also help you when they see that you're having difficulty. It doesn't matter that you seem like you're able to do it, people want to help and it's important to accept  that assistance because if you don't,when you really do need the help you won't have it. Don't push people away accept their help because in the end they are trying to make you feel better and less stressed. 

1. Be thankful for the journey. 

I did not ask for this injury nor did I expect this to happen. I am not able to work and take care of myself independently. I am limited and I am struggling emotionally, financially, and physically. However, through it all at this point I am very thankful. I am thankful for the time off work to figure out my purpose in my career. I am thankful for my family for altering their lives and schedules to make my days go smoothly. I am thankful for my friends for their outpouring of love, support, and most importantly giving me that sense of normalcy when everything in my world right now is chaotic. I am thankful for this blog as it is serving as an outlet for me to share my inner thoughts and ideas I have kept in my brain. I am thankful for this journey because I don't know where I am going but I know I will get there and this bumpy ride will reveal to me its true purpose.

Thank you to those who have read my blog! I am grateful for the support thus far. This is becoming something bigger than myself so thank you!

Any comments are appreciated and topic ideas are always welcomed! 

A Change in Functional Status

"You become what you think. Think happy thoughts. "

I remember in grad school when we spoke about change in functional status. It seemed like something so distant and not applicable to my personal life. During that time in my life, functional status was written in my text books and affected Mr. Blue who recently had  an accident resulting in a traumatic brain injury (TBI).

Fast forward to now.....

Anything in life can cause a change in functional status; from having a fever to spinal cord injury. For those who don't know 'functional status' is a fancy way of saying:

             (Thank you google.)

One of my professors  drilled the idea that 'motivation' can be the driving force to performance of normal daily activities status post injury.  Aside from the medical complications your attitude can have a huge impact on recovery. How is it that a 10 letter word can determine a person's capabilities? It's simple really...on any given day a person wakes up and determines their very mood. Before even getting out of bed an individual can dictate how they are going to deal with that day's challenges. The same idea applies when living with a life altering disability. Whether your disability is short-term or long-term the level of motivation a person carries will mold their   recovery along with how they are perceived by others. 

Back in the day when I was an orientation leader, also know as a Preview staffer at UF (p-luv '08) we lived by the principal of choosing your attitude. To this day I live by that. If you choose your attitude it will affect your perception. Perception is reality. Having a disability will change how you navigate life but your attitude and motivation will determine the next steps. 

As I say to my friends I may have a splint on my left hand but I am still young and fun! There will be days I feel sad and there will be days where I'll feel unstoppable. I am what I think; today I think I'm happy.  

(Me with my new accessory, my cool splint)

Until next time!

Any thoughts or ideas please share! 

Recovering from injury...the emotional roller coaster

" Just close your eyes and enjoy the rollercoaster that is life." - Zayn Malik

Will I ever feel normal again? Will I be able to do the things I used to the same way? Will I have a huge ugly scar? 

All questions running through my mind. As I lay in bed I can't help but wonder how detrimental this change in function will be. I just tried to extend my finger and I felt tension. A feeling I have never felt before. A feeling difficult to describe and it scared me. The reality of it all scared me. 

There are days where I feel unstoppable but at this moment I feel helpless and afraid. Why me? Why is this my journey? How beneficial will this be for me? I am trying to understand something I may never understand. There are people going through terminal diseases and here I am concerned about the normalcy of my left hand. 

With all the inspiration and hope I try to instill in my patients being in this position, that word empathy keeps coming back and it is then I continue  to understand the importance of empathy. 

Empathy is defined as:

" the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. "

Empathy is a substantial ingredient to this recovery pie. During any type of recovery there is a sequence of events. Sometimes wanting the end result can cloud the experience. 

Living as a therapist/ patient a lot crosses my mind about this journey. There is so much that goes on in the mind of a person who has gone from healthy and active to injured and dependent.  

I believe it is important to have someone who knows how the healing process goes;to have them cheering you on because the prize (recovery in this case) is attainable. Having the perspective that I have being a therapist, I can see the end at the beginning; at least that is the case when I'm treating the elderly population. I can confidently express positivity and factual information to my patients in regards to results. However, being the patient is the exact opposite. In my position right now, all I can see is the right now. The immediate repercussions  of this silly accident. Right now I don't understand all the new sensations I'm feeling in my left hand and I cannot see the end results. 

I now understand the feeling of having something shift your security blanket. I now understand the point of view of a patient. I am feeling broken and worried about selfish things. Things that shouldn't matter but at this moment matter a lot to me. The cloudiness of my thoughts could mold how my treatment goes. Who would ever think that feeling weakness physically could surface a sea of insecurities. 

Even though I am feeling down right now; I do know that I will recover. I will have bouts of frustration, joy, confusion, and a mix of emotions.

The road to recovery is an imperfect bumpy road. Maybe I will meet someone who changes my life, maybe I will find my life's purpose. At any rate, I am learning that it's not about the destination it is truly about the journey. 

Comments widely accepted! Topic ideas appreciated! 

Life lessons...Are you up for a challenge?

"If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't Change you." -unknown 

The idea of starting this blog was easy. Writing my first entry was not so bad either. Today, however the challenge has begun. Now I have to keep this going; but how? Here is what I have decided to use for today's topic.  Since I am a living juke box, there is a song that goes with my topic, it is....

 " What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... Stand a little taller...la la la la la la." (In my Kelly Clarkson voice)

Isn't that statement true though? This life was never meant to be easy, and well, life challenges make you more resilient...at least that's what people keep telling me. 

Ok, so back to the purpose of this outlet. My goal is to educate my family, friends, colleagues....anyone really, about the process of healing emotionally and physically from the perspective of a therapist and as a regular person in this world. 

Today I met someone during my occupational therapy (OT) visit who said something key, 

"You don't realize how useful having two working hands are until you need help with showers, brushing your hair, etc."

Think about all the things you do with two hands without missing a beat. 

I'll list  a few for you:

1. Manipulating a knife to cut your own food

2. Putting on earrings 

3. Washing your hands 

4. Applying lotion to the unaffected side

5. Opening containers 

I can continue with the list but I'm sure I've made my point. Having one functioning hand instead of two has proven to be quite the challenge. Lucky for me my one functioning hand is my dominate hand. Imagine the challenge of having to do one handed tasks with a non-dominate hand. Let's just say I am grateful that I am still able to do 75% of my daily tasks independently. The other 25% are challenging but fortunately, I have the best support system to keep me sane and give me a helping hand. (no pun intended)

Take away message:

Anything in life could be easy and perfect, but would there be appreciation? Or happiness? 

When life provides you with challenges, I believe it is to set you up for something bigger than yourself; so embrace life's challenges because you never know, it just might change you to a better version of yourself. 

Any ideas for topics? Share them! 

Having hope in spite of feeling hopeless

"Don't lose hope, you never know what tomorrow will bring."  -anonymous 

 A simple statement and a reality that applies in all circumstances of life.

My name is Jessica and I am a new occupational therapist. By new I mean I've been working in this profession for about 1 year. Two weeks ago I fell down the stairs at home and managed to cause some serious damage to my left forearm; changing my circumstances from being a healthy gainfully employed young woman to sitting on the sidelines injured.

I am going to go off topic for a moment to share important information to individuals new to the professional world...

Get insurance, short-term disability, and all the things that may seem unnecessary!!!

Ok back to my point. You can be professionally equipped but one incident can change your life. Something as simple as a mis-step (literally) can change that tomorrow. This freak accident has forced me to think about what I would like ' my tomorrow to bring'. Today I am sure that I don't know, but I am willing to start a new journey.

If anything this will allow me to go from being an occupational therapist who is sympathetic of the journey to recovery to one that is empathetic to the journey.

In life sometimes we need a nudge to make decisions to bring us to our destiny others (like myself) need our very foundation shaken to make a change.

Please join me on this journey where I go from an OT that works the profession to an OT that lives on the other side.

Comments are greatly appreciated! Ideas are always welcome!