What I Learned about Insecurities

Every so often I get this feeling that I need to get to my blog. It was here on this blog a year ago that I was able to write out my natural feelings when life seemed to go in a different direction then I had planned. 

For a moment there I forgot my original purpose of this blog. On a personal level it allowed me an outlet to get out what I was going through. After a while I felt like I didn't want to talk about the same things over and over. Having a blog takes a lot of discipline and determination. Which faded after a while. I know that my biggest issue is my inconsistency. However today there was one word that kept creeping into my mind that gave me a push to write. 

                     

                     INSECURITY

Now I know I am not the first one to deal with insecurities and I won't be the last one but for some reason this word stuck out to me today. 

Everyday I deal with an insecurity. I mean every single day I decide if my insecurity is going to define my day.  There are some days where I feel overwhelmed and anxious over life's challenges. Then there are days where I feel like I am unstoppable. In my current state, I feel some insecurity creeping back in. What made today different from other days was for some reason I had to ask myself: 'Why am I so insecure?' In my confusion I even prayed about it. I began to think a lot about my insecurities. Questions started popping in my head for example:

'Why is it when something doesn't go right or as planned all the confidence that was living inside me gets replaced with my insecurities?'

I am learning how to actually deal with these issues as opposed to just pushing them to the back of my mind and it is tough. The thing about being insecure is that if you allow your mind to focus on all the things going wrong it will take away from the things that are actually going great in your life. 

 A lot of times when I'm feeling insecure it's easy for me to be a hater and say negative things but then what? The things that went wrong still went wrong. So I've decided instead of focusing on the wrong that's going on it may be time to switch gears. If there is anything that you take away from this blog today I want you to take this fact from me today. 

A year ago when you were going through a bad break up, an injury, a lost job, verge of homelessness, losing a loved one, finding out someone had cancer...what ever your struggle was...How did you feel?...When your life felt like it was entirely to stressful, what did you do? 

I will strictly speak for myself and my personal experience. Last year, when I thought I was going to lose my chance at working in my career that I worked hard for, I started to feel insecure . I thought that I would not be vulnerable to meet someone special. I thought I would be struggling forever. I thought that I was alone. I was insecure. I was unsure of myself and what was in store for my life. 

When I reflect on my year this is what I can recall. I fell and hurt my wrist, I managed to endure 2 surgeries , a travel job in California, a relationship that went from good to bad, and fluctuating  self-confidence, and finally, a taste in reality of all of life's responsibilities. 

 A year later I am feeling like I am no longer insecure about my career opportunities as I have a few things lined up. I have started to dream about my goals again. I now have hope where I didn't have it before. However I fight my insecurities every day. Instead of focusing on my weaknesses I try to focus on how I can craft that negative into a positive. It's a hard battle but an important one. 

Take away message: 

It's so easy to dwell on insecurities but you have two options:

1.  Complain about it 

2. Do something about it

Allow yourself to do both, just don't stay too long complaining. 

Everyday we have a choice to make. We can decide to be optimistic or pessimistic. The choice is yours. Insecurities take away the beauty of being uniquely you. Just like every mother says, " There will always be someone smarter than you, prettier than you, richer than you, poorer than you, weaker than you... The list goes on, but there will never ever be another YOU." So please stop comparing yourself to others.  You can't ever be them and they can't ever be you. 

Thank goodness for that! 

"The reason why we struggle with insecurity is we compare our behind the the scenes with everyone else's highlight reel." - Steven Furtick 

Until next time folks!